I think that I am needy
There I said it
I don't have what everyone else has
a boy that loves them and wants them
and I think I'm needy
because I want that
I want the Pam and Jim love story
the Me before You story
the Meredith and Derek story
Is that so much to ask for?
It must be.
I say that there is someone for everyone
but when am I going to start believing it?
It seems so easy for everyone else,
to love and be loved, so quickly finding someone
but here I am chasing a boy who may not want me
and I convince myself he does
What if he doesn't?
Have I wasted my time?
When did I start measuring my worth
upon how far I have gone with a man?
And when someone else
who is much __(er) than me
gets with a guy,
I feel like there must be something really wrong with me.
When did women become each other's competition?
When did I start being so harsh to myself?
I know what I want, truly, from a man
and I think I'm needy because I have standards and expectations
I want to be desired and loved and wanted
I needy for it and I hate myself for it