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May 2018
September 2nd, 2016 I received my diagnoses.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Yikes....
But then it all started to make sense.

I understand myself now more than I ever have before.

But try explaining this to a friend, a lover, a family member.

"Borderline of what?"
They all ask.

Let me explain....

I am on the borderline
The borderline of love,
and of hate

I love so deeply,
I can make you feel like you're on top of the world..

But then I split.
And suddenly,
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
But don't leave me.
please don't ever leave me.

Love me,
Love me.

Leave me behind.
I'm the borderline
I can be the happiest of people.
But also the most depressing.

See when I feel happiness
I see that the sun shines brighter,
I notice the good in the little things.

When I'm happy l,
I feel invincible.

But then...
In the blink of an eye,
I split.

And suddenly,
I'm the lowest of the low.

I'm standing on that edge,
Hoping to God I have the courage to take one more step.
To end it all.

Staring down that bottle of pills,
feeling like swallowing them maybe wouldn't be so bad.

I am on the borderline...
of your best friend,
And some days,
your worst enemy.

I push you away,
I pull you too close.

The borderline of loneliness,
and never really being alone.

I am on the borderline,

The borderline of insanity.

The borderline of my sanity.

I have borderline personality disorder,

And these borders have taken over me.
Things I'll Never Say
Written by
Things I'll Never Say  25/F/Ontario, Canada
(25/F/Ontario, Canada)   
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