Apr 2018
A fools tale
They say we are born in pairs. Destined to be loved , destined to spend it with a significant other.
I've seen lovers find each other in the darkest of moments while I found myself alone. I've seen families come together in devastating ruins in a war stricken country but seen mine close their doors on me.
The books of God says we are made in pairs , the bible , the Quran , the Torah all speak of a love conceived in heaven but all I've found is hook ups sent from hell. They say love is pure and kind , I say ******* love is nothing but the door to torture and pain while falling is the key , the key I've so willingly turned many times. They say it's all about time , when the time is right ,when it's meant to be it will be , maybe when I'm dead and gone I'll be brought back as a rose, loved by some hated by others , can't be touched only plucked and given as a sign of love then left to dry away and die because that's all love has ever been to me a dying rose. I've heard them all say they love me , they gave me the same look and then walk away from me. So much for the love at first sight fairy tale *******, all the books , all the songs and movies have it " no one like you baby". Promise after promise I watched them break it but now you what makes you different ? What makes you the one to fix the broken parts and heal the scars that's been carved into my soul by the hot white burning lies it's been fed by the corrupted love it's been given ? nothing , he will come along and smile and then I'll be forgotten because that's all I've ever been the temporary guy , the one before the one. Left to fall and land on my own , the plane takes off but I fly solo. I see no point in putting effort into you or into this because in the end the three letter word will be said and a sappy story of " it's me not you" will be given with false pitiful eyes. Time after time , my faith never wavered but today I have none , none in you or your words, " I like you, your different" I am but you're not. All that's different is the way you'll end up leaving. Call me bitter but I see you here holding hands and looking at each other the way some of us would love to be looked at but all I can say is that blind lovers look at each more lovingly then I have. I envy you , I envy the fact you can wake up tomorrow and be gone and that would affect people , I envy the fact you can sleep tonight knowing that he or she next to you loves you , I envy the fact when I wake up tomorrow all that will be different is a time and day. Be patient they say she will come, yeah she will come but then she will go just as quick. No point in trying , no point in hoping or seeing myself with her in an hour from now let alone tomorrow because sadly my life and your life isn't the same because come tomorrow I'll seek meaning when all you have to do is wake up to one, I'll long for a home that won't ever exist with someone that doesn't exist and you'll wake up closer to it or in it ,only you know the blessings you have. This sounds like some sappy broken hearted fools tale of longing for a lover. It's a sappy broken hearted fools deepest thoughts and broken words of how he'd love to have a person be his person , trust him , love him , be with him and stand by him but like his name suggests his a broken hearted fool who believes in a fairytale that only exists in the world of an electronic box throwing him crafted pictures taken from a page a script written to give him false hope or ink on a page his crafted to be closer to his made up fairytale that he so longs for. And as for you , you aren't here and do you know why ? Because you are the same , you feed me lies give me hope and then ****** it all way , you do what she did ,you make me smile , make me feel , make me want to live again and feel as if I have a meaning ,as if I mean something to you ,if this time perhaps it's real and your words aren't as hollow as my soul. But letting you in will end in the same result ,letting my guard down will be an invitation to new Scars a self inflicted torture but maybe I love the pain , maybe the solitude and sorrow coupled with the torture of an absent lover covered by an illusion of one day sharing a warm home with her had gotten me addicted to the sharp pain of pleasure that tortures my being every time I see lovers love each other. You aren't here to hear this because in the end I am to you what today is to you , just another . My words are your food but the taste buds on your tongue will crave another for that's all I am and will ever be is a phase , a phase never to be loved or wanted.
They say we are born in pairs. Destined to be loved , destined to spend it with a significant other.
I've seen lovers find each other in the darkest of moments while I found myself alone. I've seen families come together in devastating ruins in a war stricken country but seen mine close their doors on me.
The books of God says we are made in pairs , the bible , the Quran , the Torah all speak of a love conceived in heaven but all I've found is hook ups sent from hell. They say love is pure and kind , I say ******* love is nothing but the door to torture and pain while falling is the key , the key I've so willingly turned many times. They say it's all about time , when the time is right ,when it's meant to be it will be , maybe when I'm dead and gone I'll be brought back as a rose, loved by some hated by others , can't be touched only plucked and given as a sign of love then left to dry away and die because that's all love has ever been to me a dying rose. I've heard them all say they love me , they gave me the same look and then walk away from me. So much for the love at first sight fairy tale *******, all the books , all the songs and movies have it " no one like you baby". Promise after promise I watched them break it but now you what makes you different ? What makes you the one to fix the broken parts and heal the scars that's been carved into my soul by the hot white burning lies it's been fed by the corrupted love it's been given ? nothing , he will come along and smile and then I'll be forgotten because that's all I've ever been the temporary guy , the one before the one. Left to fall and land on my own , the plane takes off but I fly solo. I see no point in putting effort into you or into this because in the end the three letter word will be said and a sappy story of " it's me not you" will be given with false pitiful eyes. Time after time , my faith never wavered but today I have none , none in you or your words, " I like you, your different" I am but you're not. All that's different is the way you'll end up leaving. Call me bitter but I see you here holding hands and looking at each other the way some of us would love to be looked at but all I can say is that blind lovers look at each more lovingly then I have. I envy you , I envy the fact you can wake up tomorrow and be gone and that would affect people , I envy the fact you can sleep tonight knowing that he or she next to you loves you , I envy the fact when I wake up tomorrow all that will be different is a time and day. Be patient they say she will come, yeah she will come but then she will go just as quick. No point in trying , no point in hoping or seeing myself with her in an hour from now let alone tomorrow because sadly my life and your life isn't the same because come tomorrow I'll seek meaning when all you have to do is wake up to one, I'll long for a home that won't ever exist with someone that doesn't exist and you'll wake up closer to it or in it ,only you know the blessings you have. This sounds like some sappy broken hearted fools tale of longing for a lover. It's a sappy broken hearted fools deepest thoughts and broken words of how he'd love to have a person be his person , trust him , love him , be with him and stand by him but like his name suggests his a broken hearted fool who believes in a fairytale that only exists in the world of an electronic box throwing him crafted pictures taken from a page a script written to give him false hope or ink on a page his crafted to be closer to his made up fairytale that he so longs for. And as for you , you aren't here and do you know why ? Because you are the same , you feed me lies give me hope and then ****** it all way , you do what she did ,you make me smile , make me feel , make me want to live again and feel as if I have a meaning ,as if I mean something to you ,if this time perhaps it's real and your words aren't as hollow as my soul. But letting you in will end in the same result ,letting my guard down will be an invitation to new Scars a self inflicted torture but maybe I love the pain , maybe the solitude and sorrow coupled with the torture of an absent lover covered by an illusion of one day sharing a warm home with her had gotten me addicted to the sharp pain of pleasure that tortures my being every time I see lovers love each other. You aren't here to hear this because in the end I am to you what today is to you , just another . My words are your food but the taste buds on your tongue will crave another for that's all I am and will ever be is a phase , a phase never to be loved or wanted.
