I spent hours staring at the phone Wondering when we can ever be alone It’s hard to love you and I can’t complain It pains me that I want to show you what it means to be on cloud nine Although, we’re together It doesn’t feel like you’re mine I’m empty again. There’s no hope left. I’m left begging for attention like the rest, And it hurts me Hard to breathe Hard to believe that Maybe we’re not meant to be You’re shooting me down Bullet to the chest, Agonizing pain called ‘rejection’. I don’t want to give up on this. I miss when we don’t talk. But you don’t even want to kiss me. And I’m wondering if I’m that repulsively disgusting Lusting over whether you’re worth it or not When it’s good, I’m fine But I’m so easily forgotten by you You’re the Adalind to my Eve, I can’t bear to leave Still…that’s only because I’m afraid of abandonment. The breaking of relationships sent me on a ship of destruction My own Titanic, With a dose of hypomanic infatuation I never knew when to end it Always afraid of going overboard, A safety vest couldn't save me from this mess. When I’m drowning in depression There’s only the deep, blue sea beneath me A bottle of pills across my bed. I swallow my pride. And death hits for a second. My parents come rushing in, and they call the ambulance. Cardiac arrest Shattered apart like a broken bird's nest A shocking force through my veins, People shouting my name, telling me to stay awake. The doctor said I almost didn’t make it.