I fired one up on the loading dock
after eating lunch at the workplace cafeteria
I only smoke after a meal or when I'm contemplating death
and I may be contemplating death
because I just had lunch at the workplace cafeteria

my Mother would have a cigarette after dinner
and one before bed
that's probably where I got it
I got a lot of things from my Mother
and I lost a lot of things when she passed
much of my patience
along with a good chunk of character
I still don't cross the line
it's just gotten a bit further away

the memories of childhood have faded
like dates on old concert stubs
but the pain they both endured
in those last few years remains vivid
a stark reminder that life has balances
that illness does not discriminate
that bad decisions are unforgiving
I also believe that the after
holds balance as well
that someday
we will again be wrapped in the arms
of those we miss in life
and all shall be forgiven