Today I’m gonna sing a little song
Of what is right and what is really wrong
Today I’ll tell you tiny little story
If you don’t like it, well, I am not sorry
If you work hard then you’ll be very rich
If you don’t work, they’ll call you nasty *****
If you love money, they will call you cheap
If you don’t need a dollar, you’re a creep
If you love boys and girls, they’ll call you bi
If you like none of them, they’ll say good-bye
If you like making love, you are a ****
They’ll call you back because they like your ****
If you don’t pray, that means you’ll go to hell
If you believe in ghosts, you’re doing well!
If you don’t go to church, they’ll call you wicked
But if they give you wine and waffles – take it
If you’re yourself, you will be called a ******
They’ll criticize your clothes, your life, and hairdo
But if they lip behind your back, remember
You’re in the front seat, baby, special member