Journal entry #5


I'm missing you today.
Don't ask me how I feel about it cuz I wouldn't know what I'd say.

Today is harder than others.
At times I'm angry.
At times I'm so sad.
It feels as if the inside of me is screaming.

Why the hell did I agree to do this.
The only thing that seems to dull the deep ache within is this bottle of jack.
I know it's not the answer.
But I'm dealing with the fact that your not here and I can never take you back.

I guess I'm just hoping,
That after this fever I'll survive.
I feel strung out, Maybe even a little hazy.
My pain is my only reminder that I'm still here.
Hand over heart.
Quit beating... for him.


If you ever went looking for me you'd find me scattered in pieces on this cold bathroom floor.
And every second's like torture.
I'm searching the heavens for an answer on how to let you go.