she kept asking me why im always writing
and why i love road trips so much
why i cant stay in one place for more than a year without feeling the sting of boredom crawling its way into my skin
so i told her

its just that
             there is no other way for me to live my life
not when i know that
             the whole world is staring me back in the face
patiently waiting
             getting ready for me to absorb all that its trying to gift
all of these people
            that we coexist with, yet have never met
they are out
           LIVING THEIR OWN LIVES
           EXPERIENCING THEIR OWN EMOTIONS
           LOVING THEIR OWN PEOPLE
and we have no idea of each other's existence

the only way i know how to live my life is to tackle it head on

i used to sit on my bed
   in my room
       and stare at my computer screen
            any tv show i could find
                i would watch for d.a.y.s. on end

but one day i woke up
and i realized that that wasnt really living my life
i was taking a break
escaping into another reality that was simpler than my own
one where i didnt exist, but i wasnt quite dead either

but i knew that wasnt my idea of living

my idea of living was experiencing the wholeness around you
all of the agony and torture
all of the jealousy and mistrust
all of the infatuation and true love
all of the ease and satisfaction

it was all just one long adventure and the only way for me to enjoy it
was to let it engulf me
and glide along for the ride