He refused to leave
He was gone but still here
He haunted my thoughts
I still lived in fear
He would never return
But he never left
I would never hear his voice
But it’s still in my head
I still see him occupying the left side of my bed
I still see the broken smile and the mischief in his eyes
I still feel his fingernails crawling on my skin
Leaving his mark on me
Making me sick
With fear
With pain
I can still hear his voice screaming out my name
Making me feel ashamed
Bursting my heart into flames


He was a utilitarian
He believed what he felt he had to
He understood what he wanted to

He was a usurper
He took away my dreams
He stripped me of my high self-esteem

I gave him all I had
Unintentionally
His eyes enslaved me
My willpower nowhere around when he faced me

He made me weak
His megalomania affected me
Made me feel useless without him
And even now that he’s locked away
In a mental asylum a hundred miles away
He still has power over me

My home is still filled with his presence
My head still filled with the memories
Of him
And me

It should not be that way
But that’s exactly the way it is
No matter how hard I try
I can never be truly free from him
Or his hold on me.