Early morning drink with ice, of course. I always felt so lost.
In my mind was dark, my soul was crushed and my life was built on pretending.
I smiled, I laughed a lot.
No one knew my heart was in a knot. My body was numb, My thoughts were evil. I tried to break through all that I was going through. Could this all be so true? Was I losing myself, ...it was all something I was new to.  
Nothing I was use to.
The pain , frustration and anger.
I didn't wanna talk, some days I didn't wanna get up ... Everything was a fuss.
I had to figure out what was wrong, the depression I couldn't take ..I knew it would take over one day ...Will I ever be okay !?