Here's what I'll collect of us: 1. Your hand holding my nine year old one, 2. small and uncertain 3. small and growing 4. You waking up before the rest of the world 5. The sound of you raking fallen brittle palm fronds and leaves 6. Feeding the dogs 7. Turning the cornmeal for them in the massive *** 8. Your rare smiles 9. The smell of Old Spice 10. Filling the shopping cart with whatever I wanted 11. My too-tiny hands clasping about the cart and pushing it along with you 12. Us scouring the aisles for Eggo's waffles and my favorite brand of banana chips 13. My nine year old self sitting on your lap while you dozed off 14. Our conversations about politics and the current state of the world 15. Our long conversations 16. Our long conversations about your youth 17. Me hearing your story about how you cared for yourself from 15 years old for the 105th time 18. Me never getting tired of hearing about that story 19. Your rare smiles reaching your eyes 20. The softness of your hair as I stroke your head now 21. Sitting by your bedside and being comforted by your soft breath as you sleep 22. Sitting by your bedside remembering my childhood with you 23. The long summers in your house with grandma and my cousin 24. The long summers in your house on the island 25. The long summers back home--back in your home country 26. Your hand holding my nine year old one, 27. small and uncertain 28. small and growing 29. You waking up before the rest of the world 30. You going to sleep after everyone else 31. Your hand holding mine. 32. Your breath. 33. The softness and steadiness of your breath.
A list poem dedicated to my 90-year-old grandfather as he battles prostate cancer. I love him and respect him with all my heart. There are so many other memories that I will cherish and hold onto, like most recently, my trip with him to Niagara Falls. These are just a few that I can fondly recall from childhood. He's essentially the father I never had.