it’s large and soft and full of memories
now tainted by the thought of her
countless nights spent soundly sleeping side by side
comfortable and safe
but those nights have ended
will never return
exchanged for awkward glances
and menageries of bugs in my gut
i miss that bed though
i miss the closeness and the warmth
of her body next to mine
the routine
the sameness
the consistency

but life isnt consistent
unless the consistency is change

so i tell myself
there will be other beds
better beds
other girls
better girls
far better than she
better faces, better smiles
better memories
stronger feelings of comfort
and belonging
and acceptance
and love
for myself
and someone else.