May 2018
She stood where she’d always stood. Bare feet pressed firmly into that which was familiar; solid ground and mundane days. The rolling hills of green, dripping of constant certainty, nearly surrounded her. Yet before her, and so many others, was the vast open space of The Unknown that promised the opposite of that reality. No one she knew dared approach the The Unknown as there was never any need or desire. Her world was an unfailing provider of worldly things and acceptance. The surrender to conformity never felt too high a price to pay.
But, her contentment had grown old despite her youth. She often dug her toes into that solid ground beneath her feet. For she had learned that with enough pressure, it wasn’t so solid after all. The earth crumbled into soft dirt and she took pleasure in the feeling of disrupting it’s rigid state. When The Wind from The Unknown surreptitiously swept over the land, others raised a brow in disdain when she breathed in it’s essence, as if she were trying to decipher that which drove it. Her eyes often gazed in the direction The Wind came from, regardless of the shame that slowly began to grow inside her from her need to move on.
Day after day, week after week, something began to manifest itself in her. A seed implanted by The Wind of The Unknown. Or perhaps it was always there, covert in it’s infancy, until it had gained enough confidence to grow and surface. She felt herself drawn to step past the dirt she’d grown fond of playing footsie with and move cautiously towards the direction of The Unknown. Each step she took brought fear and uncertainty, but that was curbed by the the constant reminder of The Wind’s confidence in her. As she travelled, The Wind silently retreated to watch her grow on her own. Unfamiliar feelings arose that she had never experienced before which only led to even more new desires. She tried to process her emotions, but she was already moving forward at a steady pace.
Those that knew her, stared as she moved on. Their faces displaying confusion and judgment, as her small frame quietly disappeared against the horizon that radiated a haunting yet mysteriously inviting glow over The Unknown. How she longed to express to them the urgency she felt to depart their world. To share with someone this journey that had turned from sheer curiosity to the need to fulfill something in her that even she could neither comprehend nor fully understand.
Suddenly, her feet came to an abrupt stop as The Wind silently reappeared. It’s presence was familiar and yet unyielding. Looking down at her feet, she slowly became aware that she was no longer standing on any remnants of where she came from. She was standing on the edge of The Unknown. A jagged rock cliff that was both beautiful and terrifying overlooking a dark, vast body of water that appeared to stretch farther then the eye could see. She quickly realized why the air she inhaled met her with familiarity. It was the very entity that secretly breathed life into her spirit and beckoned her to depart from all that she had known before. With this realization came another. Her journey thus far had slowly fostered a self awareness that, like the jagged cliff she stood on, was terrifying and beautiful. She was aware of every single nerve in her body. Every desire she longed for was now completely known, understood and wanted more than ever.
She looked out at the dark, yet unexplainably welcoming water of The Unknown. That ever familiar Wind, playfully swirling around her body, tempted and coaxed her as she stood unsteady at the edge. It moved through her hair and against her skin like fingertips, gently comforting her. She basked in it’s attention and the memory of it’s unfailing guidance... until it warmly kissed her ear and whispered a single word; a command that forced a gasp from her lips. Her body began to tremble with fear as she attempted to process it’s request. The Wind felt her hesitation and picked up speed, reassuring her safety and softly explaining itself to her. “Wanting is not the same as Feeling”, it said. And so The Wind gently repeated: “Jump”.
So she jumped.
And the water enveloped her.
She felt.
She evolved.
She became one with The Wind.
And The Unknown became Known.
But, her contentment had grown old despite her youth. She often dug her toes into that solid ground beneath her feet. For she had learned that with enough pressure, it wasn’t so solid after all. The earth crumbled into soft dirt and she took pleasure in the feeling of disrupting it’s rigid state. When The Wind from The Unknown surreptitiously swept over the land, others raised a brow in disdain when she breathed in it’s essence, as if she were trying to decipher that which drove it. Her eyes often gazed in the direction The Wind came from, regardless of the shame that slowly began to grow inside her from her need to move on.
Day after day, week after week, something began to manifest itself in her. A seed implanted by The Wind of The Unknown. Or perhaps it was always there, covert in it’s infancy, until it had gained enough confidence to grow and surface. She felt herself drawn to step past the dirt she’d grown fond of playing footsie with and move cautiously towards the direction of The Unknown. Each step she took brought fear and uncertainty, but that was curbed by the the constant reminder of The Wind’s confidence in her. As she travelled, The Wind silently retreated to watch her grow on her own. Unfamiliar feelings arose that she had never experienced before which only led to even more new desires. She tried to process her emotions, but she was already moving forward at a steady pace.
Those that knew her, stared as she moved on. Their faces displaying confusion and judgment, as her small frame quietly disappeared against the horizon that radiated a haunting yet mysteriously inviting glow over The Unknown. How she longed to express to them the urgency she felt to depart their world. To share with someone this journey that had turned from sheer curiosity to the need to fulfill something in her that even she could neither comprehend nor fully understand.
Suddenly, her feet came to an abrupt stop as The Wind silently reappeared. It’s presence was familiar and yet unyielding. Looking down at her feet, she slowly became aware that she was no longer standing on any remnants of where she came from. She was standing on the edge of The Unknown. A jagged rock cliff that was both beautiful and terrifying overlooking a dark, vast body of water that appeared to stretch farther then the eye could see. She quickly realized why the air she inhaled met her with familiarity. It was the very entity that secretly breathed life into her spirit and beckoned her to depart from all that she had known before. With this realization came another. Her journey thus far had slowly fostered a self awareness that, like the jagged cliff she stood on, was terrifying and beautiful. She was aware of every single nerve in her body. Every desire she longed for was now completely known, understood and wanted more than ever.
She looked out at the dark, yet unexplainably welcoming water of The Unknown. That ever familiar Wind, playfully swirling around her body, tempted and coaxed her as she stood unsteady at the edge. It moved through her hair and against her skin like fingertips, gently comforting her. She basked in it’s attention and the memory of it’s unfailing guidance... until it warmly kissed her ear and whispered a single word; a command that forced a gasp from her lips. Her body began to tremble with fear as she attempted to process it’s request. The Wind felt her hesitation and picked up speed, reassuring her safety and softly explaining itself to her. “Wanting is not the same as Feeling”, it said. And so The Wind gently repeated: “Jump”.
So she jumped.
And the water enveloped her.
She felt.
She evolved.
She became one with The Wind.
And The Unknown became Known.
This poem/story is open to interpretation but simply put, it’s about moving on from one thing to another, despite the fear that accompanies change. In my personal journey, I evolved into living an alternative lifestyle and while the journey was scary, the outcome has been beautiful and fulfilling. “The Wind” is a representation of my husband helping me along my journey and watching me grow.
