i sit in my bed with the window open trying to fall asleep to the sound of the crickets chirping and i think of summer. as the song "chasing cars" plays i get a whiff of every memory that i had last summer. the endless laughs. so many tube rides. how many competitions we had of who can jump in the water the furthest. there is so much more. i can feel my happiness from the memories. i can feel the warmth of the sun in my heart and i can feel the water from the lake down my face as i cry. i cry. i cry about the losses. the laughs and the me that i used to be and it hurts because i know that once i close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep i will never feel that way again. i will never feel the warmth how i used to. i will never laugh how i used to and i will not feel how i used to.