If I was to sit here and tell you my pain we’d be here for hours,
Pain is inevitable,
For some endless,
For me a darkness and lingers in the back of my mind waiting for a moment to envelop me in a blanket so heavy I have no way out,
I have to wait.
For someone outside that darkness to just whisper my name so I can swim up and just breathe.

This darkness is wide,
Even as I cry out to this darkness it has no sympathy,
My pain is mean,
Heartless,
My struggle is its joy,
My hurt is relief,
My sorrow is a sweet aroma to the stretch of my happiness,
Yes, I smile. A lot in fact,
But is it real?
I’m the best actress you’ve ever seen,
My smile is laced with the pain; darkness; hurt and sorrow that you will never see so, please!

Allow me to grieve for the happiness I can’t feel. I forgot how it feels, it’s numb but pain...
You’ve all but won.