"You should really stop that.” I look over at her, quizzical.
She points to the cigarette dangling from my mouth and gives me the basic line that everyone says to a smoker. “It’s not healthy.”
“I could stop smoking at any given moment, yknow.” As I crush the supposed cancer stick to the dirt, resisting the urge of an eye-roll. She’s watching me, obviously waiting for an explanation. God, why does she care? No one ever has before. “It wouldn’t be hard, I mean, I’m not addicted or anything. ”
She laughs and suddenly I’m trying to ignore how good it sounds. “Isn’t that what all addicts say?”
“I’m serious.” Judging by the look on her face, I know that wasn’t the answer she wanted. So I stopped sugar coating it.
“I just don’t quit because I’d rather **** myself in a way that’s more..socially accepted. People don’t notice as much- they call me a smoker, not suicidal. I like it that way. ”