That phrase "I can't even"
It's overplayed like your favorite song blaring thru the speakers
It's unfit to describe how your feeling
But at this moment, the days that turned into weeks that turned into months, I can't even right now.
I can't even begin to explain the weight i am burdened with.
I carry it around like a wet blanket
Dampening everything it touches, leaving everything soaked in my anxiety.
I can't even describe how it feel like I have an entire universe sitting on my chest.
As tho my breaths are cut short becuase the tightness only loosened up so much
I can only breathe so deeply before I'm grasped around the throat by anxiety being told to quiet down
What does a deep breath feel like?
I am a whisper away from crumbling
And I think, maybe I can find refuge in the dust left behind by my emotional ruin
Use it as a stepping stone to rebuilding myself just a little stronger, more dependable, less likely to crack under pressure , more secure in the foundation of who I am as a person
Less of who I am now and more of what I want to be.