I always know when it's about to happen,
(an unfortunate foresight)
but I always neglect to prepare myself.
It's almost like
I look forward to the pain
because it gives me a scapegoat
for my persistant discontent.
Maybe I didn't love you,
I just need to be loved.
But either way,
I haven't been sleeping
and I'm struggling to find myself
outside the context
of someone else.