there are a million reasons not to love you but all i can think about is how empty i am without you

everything you have done to me has made me lose myself just a little bit more

all the compromises of my moral compass and changing my plans to accommodate your needs and

your words hit me like killer rain, tumbling down on me, sending me into a spiral of self-deprecation and insecurity

now when i see myself in the mirror i wonder

who am i without you

because suddenly the girl with the brown hair and her eyes a little too far apart and her smile a bit wobbly doesn’t satisfy the mirror anymore without you on my arm

you have given me a thousand empty promises and forgotten kisses and words that hit like punches that should have made me turn around and slam the door but instead i just stay and stay and stay,

my apologies getting caught in my throat like a bullet, suffocating me until i forget how to be happy without you in the first place

my heart throbs because the fingers you have wrapped so tightly around my heart are squeezing and squeezing and squeezing and my head feels like a giant is sitting on it because suddenly i can’t think about anything but

how sad i am. how hurt i am. how lost i am and somehow no one can lead me back to my sanity except for you but you are the root of my destruction

all of my problems lead back to you but somehow in some twisted-messedup-tangled-type of way you are the only person who can solve them

there are a million reasons not to love you but instead everything i do is to make sure you stay.