I don't know how to make this poetic.
I don't care to make it beautiful.
Even now I'm questioning why I'm letting this out. Not even in my black book do I wish to share this nightmare.

"I want to let go though..

There is so much hidden behind this smile. So much discomfort when they brush against my skin, nothing but lies when I hear them speak, the reason why 'love' is something I admire for afar..

I get lost in my writing,
It's very therapeutic. But even this will haunt me for days. How would you suggest letting go of this dark space?

He's right here with me,
Even now.
The reason why I hate them. He's constantly whispering in my ear, giving me reasons why I shouldn't allow anyone close. He's right on my back always a heavy load.

I still can't find the words to rid myself of his face..

I don't know how to share, my nightmare."