Sep 2017
I dread each eve so filled with grief
A heart benumbed in disbelief
I rant, I rave, I cry, I pray
Why does my angel so betray?
In bed I stare awake all night
Frigid fear, orphaned plight
I pinch and zoom and try to clutch
To reconnect - one last touch!
I'm haunted by that blessed call
When you hit the dreaded "wall"
I pray you're on the other side
Free of pain, strength in stride
Another morn, another fright
Sleep escapes, emotional blight
O Mom, I hope you hear my plea
From my demons set me free!
A heart benumbed in disbelief
I rant, I rave, I cry, I pray
Why does my angel so betray?
In bed I stare awake all night
Frigid fear, orphaned plight
I pinch and zoom and try to clutch
To reconnect - one last touch!
I'm haunted by that blessed call
When you hit the dreaded "wall"
I pray you're on the other side
Free of pain, strength in stride
Another morn, another fright
Sleep escapes, emotional blight
O Mom, I hope you hear my plea
From my demons set me free!
6 months after my moms passing what continues to haunt me is the decision I had to make to stop the meds when mom slipped beyond the point of no return. No child - of any age - should have to make that decision. The docs force family to decide WHEN. And I had to sign off. I am haunted by signing off on my moms final departure!!! I ask her forgiveness- she was too weak for us to discuss it prior to this happening- she declined very very quickly. It's terrible and I talk to her every day but all I get is silence. I hope she understands n I hope I did right by her.
