again, it has happened
again
there is a human shaped hole
in my wall
its darkness calls me
and i go there to get
my tendons ripped
i belong in that hole
in that wall
people worship stone and call it god
and if that stone breaks
it was divine intervention
i am tired of defending
my existence
my religion of love
why my tears fall
the hole from my bed
looks demonic almost
i gaze at it at nights
contemplative
meditative even
i have done it again
as in walked inside
the tight walls
no room to breathe
this human shaped hole
built perfectly for me
it squeezes away at my flesh
the further i go, the smaller it gets
until my flesh raptures, blood
organs, guts, cake
tears, eyelashes, eyeballs
from the other end i come out
pure, untainted
as if my flesh was not
clinging to jagged rocks
as if my muffled screams
did not suffocate
are you terrified of me?
you see i think your rock god
took mercy and turned me anew
i have 18 more times to die
double that of a cats
and each time i will lose myself a little
promise to love me then will you
it disturbs you doesn’t it?
you’re counting my teeth
my sharp white ones
babydoll eyes
i am smiling in a way that scares you
but it is me
it is me
i have failed again
ladies, gentlemen, other things beyond the eyes
watch me dance,
watch me dance !
one day the worms will eat me
but now i smile for your pleasure
someone wants a piece of my hair
someone gazes unto me until it burns
this is theatre
i play it so well
someone wishes i had succeeded
someone doesn’t know at all
you want to see me naked?
should i stab myself in front of you then?
i’m not even a girl anymore i am
a suicide artist
and i know how to do this dance so well
this terrible spectacle you’ve made of my pain
that ugly brute who laughs
as if i wasn’t turned into meatloaf
a minute ago
that ugly brute who eats
as if the food grows for him alone
i am the worlds baby
and no ones
i am evil
like lucifer
from the rib of some ******* man
be scared
i’ll eat my morrow
and ***** out this cake
i will die a beautiful girl
and carry my own body to the grave