In the morning when
I have spent myself,
I am serene like
a hurricane,
--(I will call myself
Katrina)
a giant conspiracy
of lovers,
I took a step
without any feet,
the preacher
speaks of god,
of a childhood innocence
that was lost before
it begun,
the stillness of
the soul,
living in the
abyss of
my loneliness,
I cannot believe in
a god that lets
the world rot,
that lets flies die on windowsills,
but yet I believe in
a beloved that
makes me sweep
the ground,
stoop till my back aches,
who looks at me
without any eyes,
and brings tears
to mine,
everything that I ever
loved grows like
flowers
when I see this beloved,
if I know of love
--like a child,
I only know through
my beloved,


and yet,

yet  

    yet


god is a tattered
coat that my grandmother
wears,

to have you listen
to me -- that is my beloved,

spilling my tears onto
ginseng leaves,
dust gathers
like grime,
a second layer of skin,
watching Aphrodite rise
from homes riddled
by lust,

this whole nation cursed,
and yet here is mecca (Medina)
here is Bethlehem
where apples grow freely,
and Eden lies north,
where money rains onto
nudists,

here lives the prowling
sphinx,
here Thebes rises
from the gold dust of
the Sahara ,
her salivating tongue
licks up our dissent,
and our leaders
drags Artemis by
her hair,
the sinners of
earthly lust,
Lucifer wears
armani suits
and defiles cherubs,

they have lit our
children on fire,
and have called
it a sacrifice,
we watched kindness
fall into the deep marrows
of the Styx,

living in a nation
of free will,
undressed free
will and
ravished her against her
will,

my beloved
who wears my anger
like furs,
and milks the world
like a daunting king.

you have
already begun
to hate me,

in the small
space
where the sun
meets the sea

there are unhappy people,
particles of their mind,
slaves to their desires

people who hate roses
because they bloom in
all seasons,
they hate them because
they are afraid of being
reborn
they are afraid
of death
with its acidic
lips,

they fight
the rest of society,
because their unhappiness
thrives from
environmental
misgivings,

but my unhappiness is entirely
my own,
my vices,
the slow errosion
of my mind,
who do I take arms against?
myself?

it's not society,  it's you isn't it?

because I
was so weak,
I felt wounded
by happiness alone,

because things
that tasted sweet,
always taste bitter in
my mouth.

everyone,
like corpses,
depraved of life,

of money

and of easy death.

tu es venu
et ensuite tu es parti
                                   (you came,
                                             you left)

et pourtant les arbres se balancent encore,
et l'été respire
                              (and yet the trees still sway,
                                     and summer still comes)

tout ce qui reste est un étrange souvenir,
comme un rêve comme un
cyclope dans la nuit
                                              (all that remains is a strange longing,
                                                  memori­es that rose like cyclops in the
                                                                ­                               night)
les trappes du désir, les trous noirs
de nos âmes aiguisées                              
                         ­                                (the trapdoors of desire,
                                                         ­    the black-holes of our sharpened
                                                                ­                              souls)

si vous pouviez être dieu, et revenir - seulement
pour un moment, pour me dire que j'avais raison,
alors je ferais de vos mots mon épitaphe
                                                        ­              
                                                  ­         (if you could be god, and
               come back - if only for a moment, to tell me I was right,
                                      then I would make your words my epitaph)

mon amant violacé, comme une fleur
qui découle
bulboulement de votre tige,
vous avez mangé toute
la chapelure,
alors comment
vais-je vous retrouver?

                                                     ­    (my purpled lover, like  a
                                               bulbous flower protruding from it's
                                                                ­                                  stem,
                         ­                     you have eaten all the breadcrumbs,
                                                    ­so how will I find you again?)

et même si tu es passé
comme un
fantôme du soir,
nos âmes
avaient touché
et pour le premier
le temps que je pouvais voir les étoiles
aux yeux des autres.
                                                        (­ even if you had disappeared like
                                                                ­    an evening ghost,
                                                          ­            our souls had touched,
                                                        ­                      and for the first time
                                     I could see the stars in other  peoples' eyes)

during the war
my neighbour,

(who owns Watson
Pharmaceuticals)
made seven
thousand pills
and popped
them
into the warm
lips of salivating dogs,

who died

unknowingly in
the
streets and around
corners,

and my
gentle little
uncle,
could tell and
did tell
each ear
what we were
fighting for,
as he took his cane
to mark

you from

i,

we are two borders

"he could say"

but he didn't,

my aunt made
mittens
and scarfs
"for the soldiers"
she would say
her eyes
of fanatical want,
hundreds
of scarfs
-- until she created for herself
a much painful hunch,

my aunt-the-hunchback,

and my father
would whisper
about the w a  r

he hoped,
hopingly that
I would

die
like a brave
pioneer
of sweltering europe,
an honour,
if only he could, he would, he couldn't but if he could
he would and if only he could -- he would say

like most white men,
his heart
was too much salt

for my eyes,

and then

I would go lay over
the hill

and dream of

you,

powder blue.

So I continue to laugh
and to cry
and to pretend
that the
flowers were beautiful in
the spring
like a bipolaric

I feel the sun
on my back
scorching it’s existence
tearing at skin cells
like the stares of the
people in their cars


I live

for if I die

my mother’s tears will shame me.

there once was a king,
with eyes like the sea,
pondering time beneath
an age old tree,
looking into a river,
checking the pilings
of his straight white teeth,

and upon this river,
with his wallowings
and tea,
there came a voice,
so soft and pristine,
"are you lost, oh master of the land?"

that at first glance he
took,
a beautiful reflection,
submerged in the brook,

"Oh why yes I am!"

he said,
with stars in his eyes,
and a blush for the books,

and he told the reflection
of his castles and his
wealth,
the will to die,
and the catalysts of
good health,
the drudgery and the liers,
the beauty of its spires!

and the reflection spoke softly,
it spoke of desire,
and it moved
as one,
laughing,
making fun,
greedily drinking words
for the gin of the sun,

"my home -too- is a beauty,
oh you would love it my dear!"
said the reflection,
with eyes so clear,
and it spoke of the darkness,
the bleakness too,
the ruined ships,
and the deep inky blue,

and the king's fear grew,
with his hand on his chin,
such long reaching corals,
and jellyfish too,
dimmed the desire to
submerge into such
bluish hues,

but the two lovers,
how tragic!
for how could they
say,
three words that belonged
to the shadows of yesterday?
and how could they unite
the sea and the land,
and prove their love in
the eyes of god's man?

One was all air,
and the other water,
a sacrificial stone,
and sheep for the slaughter,

"Oh love, such beauty, with eyes
so fair, the owner of my heart,
for you I will sacrifice air!"

and the reflection smiled back,
"of that you you must swear."

So the king in the shade,
caressed each grassy blade,
and  planned
and planned,
how to unite
the sea and the land,

and finally the king
sat up in horray,
for he would be the victor
of this fine day,
so he took down
a fine willow
and built a boat,
so his love,
his life would
forever be close
to his grand castle,
and its green
curtained tassels,

but the king had
an uncle,
as bony as could be,
who lusted for the throne,
found the king
sitting next to the sea,
and the king was drowned
before he could moan,
  there
             he bobbed,
and  the king   died
alone,


there once was a king,
who lays under the sea,
with blank blank
eyes,
and a throat full
of seaweed,
yellowing skin,
as fair as could be,
reaching out
for the world,
through the
abyss of the deep.