365
thats how many days its been.
its been 365 days since my mother
told me that you, my uncle,
my friend, slipped away,
slipped away from the hospital bed sheets
slipped away from the pain
slipped away from us, from me.
its been 365 days since I chose to go into
work instead of visiting you.
you see, I've always been a believer in miracles.
I've always rooted for the underdog because
it was you who taught me that all these years
I was rooting for you, I thought a miracle
is bound to happen. you were a good guy,
always knowing how to make everyone in the room
laugh until their stomachs hurt. I worked
through my shift, hoping that everything was alright, hoping that this hip surgery turned heart attack would turn into a miracle.
but I learned the hard way that sometimes hope
isn't enough to save a life.
I think about you and this **** day everyday. you
never got to hear what college I chose to go to, you never saw me graduate high school, you never got to hear what grade I decided I want to teach and so much more.
if I could go back to 365 days ago and change the decision I made, I would with no hesitation. I would
sit next to you in that hospital room and tell you I love you over and over until I lost my voice. but, I can't so I say it now, everyday. and although words mean so little when they're too late, I hope you're listening. I hope you can see me and I hope I can make you proud. although hope wasn't enough to keep you here, its whats keeping me here. in the words of you, "I'll see you when I see you."