I remember
strips of swollen scars all over my body
the camera lens staring me right in the face
the ironic dreadful chuckle behind it
and I remember my tense, numb, weak, small body.

I remember
screaming at the top of my lungs
inside the small tiny space
then proceed to silent mumbling and strong words
and I remember my own sharp, long nails digging into my skin.

I remember
hours and hours of frustration
days and days of fear
weeks and weeks of hate
and I remember my guilt, anger, insanity throughout my years.

I remember
confessing and hiding
fearing and shouting
pain and nothing
and I remember my unloved, hated mind.

I remember
blacking out memories
having poor judgements
feeling worthless
and I remember everything and nothing that makes me me.