did you think
that your abandonment was enough
to leave my heart
broken into pieces?
because yes, it was.
with each piece
containing questions,
full of anxiety
and curiosity.

did you think
that your departure made me
feel useless
because all you have done
was use me, thought less of me
each passing day?
because yes, it had.
it made me feel smaller
in power,
yet it made me bigger
in hope.
hope that you would be my forever,
yet you weren't;
you made yourself
temporary.

so why?
Why did you leave?
what did you see in her
that you didn't find in me?
because for all i know
loving someone means  
giving them joy and happiness
and that is all i have done for us,
for you.

then what,
what made you leave me?
it seems like my love and admiration
still did not reach your satisfaction
and i think that is why
you still managed
to look at someone else
without
hesitation.

and when?
when was the first thought
of disappearing in my life
go through your mind?  
for everday
i pray to God
that in the end of time
it is still us
in each other's arms

now where,
where would I go?
so many places,
with too many memories,
yet it is still you,
your embrace,
that i end up running to.

so who,
who did you do it for?
for yourself,
for me,
or for someone else?

and how,
how did you do it
without having to feel
what i felt,
without having to be the one
being abandoned,
without having to be the one
experiencing the departure
of someone I was,
and still am,
deeply in-love with?

was it simply because
I was not good enough?
maybe so.
but i hope
that for you,
in each passing day,
you will encounter others,
ones that won't question you.
ones that will make you feel whole,
as you had made me feel once.