Sometimes I wake up at 3 a.m. Body shaking, and the phantom beat of a drum beating under me. I saw my favorite band, you saw her in my smile. I wonder if you were ever mine, if you ever planned to let me in. Or if I was always destined to be a hazy month, Something you remember only when you have nothing left. Nothing about you was hazy. You were clean cut and hard pressed, pressing on me like a rib on a heart, Unbearable at times. I hope she's not another hazy May. I hope she has so many lines and hard edges, that Picasso himself rolls over in his grave. But I hope you cut yourself on her edge one day, and get swept away back to my hazy May.
a poem to my first heartbreak that i just found in my notes (the poem, not him; though he's back too)