Jul 2017
She was there.
7:25pm
I'm out with some friends., we find a spot on a hill, I know some of the people, I don't know some of the people.
I'm there having a good time. Trying to make conversation, not seeming like a complete loner loser.
I make due with what social skills I have left.
10:45pm
The fireworks have started, sparks of colour fill the sky and loud exploding noises fill my ears.
It's so dark out.
I watched the sunset not too long ago...
The sounds, the exploding bursts of shimmer and shine.
The fireworks are so vibrant, so alive...
I don't feel scared to die right now...
Maybe I should, but I don't.
11:30pm
I found my car and the parking lot is filled with people trying to get out. I grab a map and sit on the trunk of my car as I wait for an opening.
The night is calm if you don't pay mind to the drivers.
And I don't, I just stare at the map, searching for a way home.
12:30am
I made it home about 10 minutes ago and I'm not tired yet.
I make myself a cup of hot chocolate and sit at my computer watching episodes of an old sitcom from a time I didn't live in.
2:00am
I'm here.
Lying in my bed, next to nothing and no one.
It was only hours ago that I didn't feel so scared.
And now I'm here.
She wasn't there was she?
She couldn't have been...
If she was, I couldn't possibly have...
She was there.*
She was.
Our paths just missed each other.
Never crossing.
Just hours ago, I was watching fireworks.
And now I'm here.
Watching the darkness.
7:25pm
I'm out with some friends., we find a spot on a hill, I know some of the people, I don't know some of the people.
I'm there having a good time. Trying to make conversation, not seeming like a complete loner loser.
I make due with what social skills I have left.
10:45pm
The fireworks have started, sparks of colour fill the sky and loud exploding noises fill my ears.
It's so dark out.
I watched the sunset not too long ago...
The sounds, the exploding bursts of shimmer and shine.
The fireworks are so vibrant, so alive...
I don't feel scared to die right now...
Maybe I should, but I don't.
11:30pm
I found my car and the parking lot is filled with people trying to get out. I grab a map and sit on the trunk of my car as I wait for an opening.
The night is calm if you don't pay mind to the drivers.
And I don't, I just stare at the map, searching for a way home.
12:30am
I made it home about 10 minutes ago and I'm not tired yet.
I make myself a cup of hot chocolate and sit at my computer watching episodes of an old sitcom from a time I didn't live in.
2:00am
I'm here.
Lying in my bed, next to nothing and no one.
It was only hours ago that I didn't feel so scared.
And now I'm here.
She wasn't there was she?
She couldn't have been...
If she was, I couldn't possibly have...
She was there.*
She was.
Our paths just missed each other.
Never crossing.
Just hours ago, I was watching fireworks.
And now I'm here.
Watching the darkness.
Celebrate the sky, light it up.
