My eyes snap open: I am walking not by choice for I am weighted down it lurks behind me every second of every day.
People stare and goggle at me tongues throw knives "Why are you so strange?" some miss entirely "Why can't you be normal?" others hit home.
Doubt is constantly, relentlessly, gnawing at my brain How? Why? When? Too many questions
What if all I ever do, when light recedes Is stare up at the ceiling And drown in the past When I think I've come up for air I find a crashing wave of nightmares That shoves me further down.
I do not understand I lack perfect vision Yet it is not I that cannot see clearly Even when the trees ***** at my eyes like needles
Nothing stops the pain no matter how hard I try I cannot escape No matter how hard I try No matter how far I get. I end up Closer than ever before
One day I will be too tired to keep going. It will consume me. And I will be lost. Forever. I Am Sorry