You ask what is on my mind, but the truth is it's really hard to describe.
You see, I think everyday about today being the worst day.
That today is the day that that day will be my last day.
I think about how i'm walking around while "someone"  is dead, but I don't know that dead person but I wish I did.
I think about how one day i'll be dead but someone won't know me because i'm dead and nobody can meet a dead person.
I think about how time goes by fast, but also very slow. I mean I always question if i'll have enough time to do anything and everything with my life. Will I have time to take a shower in the morning? Will I have time to stop by target? Will I have time to just...live?
Breathe.
I think about my fears. how I fear to die, but also fear to live. I fear of today being my last day and having no time to actually live my life. I fear what people fear most like spiders and snakes, oh my.
I fear of losing myself, because everyday is a battle even when I don't show it.
Breathe.
I fear of losing you.
I fear you will find someone new, someone better,
but I don't blame you.
I fear I will never be good enough for you.
I fear I love too much,
why do you love them?
I fear I care too much,
why do you care anymore?
I fear I cry too much.
will you please stop crying?
Breathe.
So when you ask me what is on my mind, I never say much because it is easier to say nothing at all than to say what is going on in my head.