i cut myself today
into tiny
pieces of hurt

there's so much to say
but i've sold all my words

sold all my love
and i know what i've done

living inside my flesh
i don't know what i've become

i don't know myself

and i don't want to be inside
someone else

without shiny things
without any wealth

scars smile wide
as i write on myself

colour myself in a different creed

i do not bleed
there's no ink
to breathe

and i cannot leave
this prison made of me

what i cannot be
these walls
touch and see

the window is broken
the door wide open

but i cannot flee
out there
it's all an empty sea

and i'm already so lost
so ready to pay the cost

and leave before
they catch me dreaming

like a fish
who forgot it's alive
and still breathing

i have to stop
or i'll fade before
i can stop reading

between the lines
eating on my mind

walking on acid and wine
staring into the mirror

it's so cold and sharp
and it whispers

to me
about everything that withers
back to winter

and i'm so old with no heart
it's so easy to forget
how the dark still lingers

but the blood's still red
as it flows down a river

and i'm drowning,


laying underneath my bed
with monsters in my head

nobody has ever found me


and i'm still crawling
angry and howling

i don't know why

searching for a way
back to my myself

as the moment dies.