Teetering on the precipice of reality,
constantly observing,
trying to find a way inside,
succumbing instead,
to my incessant need to hide.

The fear of being found out,
much greater than the impulse to connect,
wondering what life would be like,
if I wasn't so wrecked,
as I wander aimlessly,
from one addiction to the next.

Living life one fix at a time,
So skilled at pretending,
no one knows the truth...
And even if they did,
they would never find the proof.
Consuming until there's nothing left,
then moving on ignoring the mess.

Covering my tracks with a web of lies
so meticulous I've started to believe,
Trying to remember the moment
I became so carelessly naive.

Then there are times
when I think I'll be fine,
Where the vices leave my system
but they linger in my mind.

Constantly second guessing
which side of the grass is greener,
All the while noticing,
a change in my demeanor.

Tiptoeing the fence
to have the best of both worlds,
But before I know it I've fallen far
from being daddy's little girl.