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May 2017
The summer comes with storms
And all the world is awash with rage
Awash with fear
Awash with love
The pear blossoms have started to fade from all the rain
Something like this heart
but blooming all the while even as it falls
and gets washed away
The world has slowly,
slowly turned its face towards the sun
And I have slowly,
slowly turned my face towards you
One more terrifying thing that I have become enamored with
Like space
Like God
Like everything else grand and beautiful and terrifying
Like the way my heart trembles when you look at me
My pulse has gone to thunder in my ears
There is some violence in this:
that you have struck me,
through the heart,
through the heart.
How ordinary have I become for this infatuation?
Waxing poetic about your eyes
and the way you feel something like a satellite to me
As you un-align the planets
and drift steadily away
So that you may grow
and shake
and die in solitude
Oh, what a dream
To be mourned and free
To become like the stars
To be all alone among a million suns
The rage fills me just like the world
Warms me like you wouldn't
And I have no shame for it-
for my rage
or even my grief
I have created an altar for it inside myself
I have lit candles and laid down flowers in remembrance
of you
and every other celestial body that has died within me
even as you shine
even as you grow
even as you live
White dwarfs,
and supernovae,
and black holes of love
all kept inside this chest;
Inside this heart
My own little universe of lost affections
And I am closer to understanding God than I have ever been;
Closer to understanding why we have all been made to ache
and burn;
Closer to understanding that it is easier to hurt and be hurt
than it is to be unknown
Catherine H
Written by
Catherine H  Texas
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