it was almost two months ago my new job was going terribly
i had two managers one was either a compulsive liar or losing her memory to dementia or early alzheimers the other one was a typical single, white, overweight woman who enjoyed flying into fits of rage and preaching about white privilege when she wasn’t giving angry lectures about how howard schulz’s wife had nannies to help her raise her children
she didn’t like me so i just quit, with no notice other than an email saying i was resigning effective the time stamp of that email
two weeks before i quit, i had the saddest dream about some guy i had a mental breakdown over ten years ago i haven’t talked to him since some sad emails in 2010, he never responded to my last email i’de been looking him up online lately but retrieving no matches because his name is so common and it’s been so long
in my dream he texted me or emailed me magically, he had gotten my phone number or one of the email addresses i use now he wrote that he would be in my town and asked if we could meet
i was really looking forward to it in the dream i was getting ready, hair, make-up, clothes i realized my dress had a ketchup stain on it towards the end of that part of the dream
i don’t think my hair or makeup or face or body looked good i looked like i look ten years older and haven’t kept up or maintained anything not that i looked good ten years ago, but i look a lot worse now i sort of realized that when i saw the ketchup stain
then it occured to me that he never responded when i either emailed or texted him back: “yes, yes, let’s meet again” there i was, excited, getting ready, vacuuming a car I haven’t driven in years i just wanted everything i wanted back
i thought we were going to meet that weekend but then he emailed me saying no, he wouldn’t be in town until the 22nd
march 22nd was on a wednesday this year so i would have just been working late and getting a bad review for anything i did
i quit my job on tuesday, march 21st, after a hard day of doing nothing since then, i’ve drank a lot of wine, gotten ******, and smoked cigarettes.
i also found his mom’s facebook page and his.
his is set to mostly private, but his mom had posted some recent pictures of him and his girlfriend