tear stained pillow cases and dreary eyes replaced a smile wider than an ocean and a heart made of gold.

2. father pressed its hands on your back, signaling you wouldn't stay alive much longer.

3. beer bottles and hashish made its way into the empty caverns of your mouth, and i didn't stop you.

4. broken homes, no, broken houses, were no longer part of our safety, but rather taped cardboard boxes became the alternative.

5. self medication and bleeding bones transformed your flesh garden; scars and bruises were your best friends.

6. dreams of life were shattered, instead buying cans of green beans and carrots were the only goals you aspired to meet.

7. black and blue nail polish, broken toes, and mushy tobacco destroyed the walls of our make - shift shelter.

8. scapegoats blamed you for crashing the windows of their soul.

9. steel bars became an everyday ritual for father and there was no way to raise kids without a job.

10. your parental custody was revoked and the demons you gave life to moved to an orphanage, at least that's what it felt like.

11. water boiled in your brain; you couldn't stand the loneliness and the guilt of the inability to love.

12. your children moved once more, isolation had finally consumed your carcass of a body.

13. not one or two, but three of your baby ducklings turned against you.

14. 'mommy' rapidly turned to 'mom' and ultimately, 'mother.' realization punched your organs to pieces. they're was no longer any love in your cold heart.