It's late at night,
I dully stare at the pink glow
Of my lamp,
There's a draft under my door,
And some sort of funny ache
In my chest.

The lazy afternoon light
From my murky glass window
Bathed your sleepy smile
On my pillow.
Your calloused hands
Ran
Around my stomach
And my back.
My fingers found a birthmark
On your ribs
I had never noticed.
Our noses touched,
And breath mingled.

My neck aches
From nighttime worries,
There's a funny taste in my mouth
From things I never wanted to say.
The ocean is a kaleidoscope of colorful fish,
And all I want to think of is you.

Your frame shivered
In the chill summer breeze
Rolling off of the lake.
Tiny round sheets of stone
Stuck to my damp toes.
You tended the small fire on the beach
While I hung on your arm and every word.
On the car ride home
We sang our hearts out
To old songs about rock and roll,
And the wind blew my hair dry
And into your face.

The old pictures feel like yesterday.
They're a patchwork quilt
Of moments with you.
It's the kind of lonely
In the pit of my belly
That needs to be shaken
With strong drink.
My mouth it etched in a frown.

I tried to cook for us
The night of our Anniversary,
What normally came easy
Made me apprehensive.
And when the meal went to grief
And I was close to tears,
You marveled at the science
Of how it had happened,
And inspected it closely,
Until you got me to laugh.

My jaw is clenched,
And my brow is knit together
Like a stocking,
But my head knows where it belongs.
On your shoulder,
Held in your hand,
Talking about music,
And space,
And past pain.

It was the smallest hours
Of the morning,
Cuddled up on your bed,
When I dared to touch
A long scar on your lower back.
I asked you where it came from,
You said your father
Had hit you so hard
He'd left it.
I was quiet.
My angry, protective whisper
Covered the lump in my throat,
As I promised I would
Never
Hurt you like that.
You said you knew that already,
And you'd never told anyone that story
Before me.

You're waltzing through
My thoughts tonight,
And you always danced so beautifully.
Taking my clumsy movements
Into your stride,
And guiding me across the floor
With gentle steadiness.
You're jump roping my brainwaves,
And caressing my consciousness.

How I miss
Your whiskery kisses.