The elephant in the room was staring me right in the face.

His piercing eyes tried with all their might to rip me apart, bit by bit
And I'd let them, too
If I had not known what they did when my back was turned.
Breaking off pieces of myself until I'm a shard of glass
A shard of what I once was.
I can't seem to find the right words to say when I'm faced with everything I've ever feared and loved all at once.

But I start with "*******".

"******* for taking my heart and doing everything humanly possible to tear it apart
Ripping up the stitches and watching me wince in pain
My blood dripping onto the floor and all you can do is laugh
You laugh at my pain as if you love it, as if you LIVE for it
But I get no second thoughts from everyone else, this is NORMAL for them
Because I should've known you were bad news, I should've known you would do something like this
But I didn't.
You took my vulnerability and swallowed it whole
You took my shaking hands and broke them into pieces and laughed all the while
You snapped my bones and cracked my skull and this was fun for you, this is fun for you,
And STILL you rip me apart with your eyes, as if I don't know,
As if I don't know that you tore my name to shreds long before I came to know of it,
And that's pretty ****** of you."