Feb 2017
You left me stranded that summer.
I came to you with a smile, expecting one in return
But you handed me contempt and rejection.
It stuck to my hands, so I carried it with me.
I thought you saw something in me that you couldn't stand,
Something rotten that hadn't been there before.
I tried clawing it out.
I tried to change myself to bring you back.
I wondered if you realized how much you'd damaged me.
Or if you cared.
I finally realized it wasn't my fault.
That my hands were stained from helping you up countless times,
Not from my own soul.
It was your choice to make me feel small.
But now I've washed my hands of you.
I came to you with a smile, expecting one in return
But you handed me contempt and rejection.
It stuck to my hands, so I carried it with me.
I thought you saw something in me that you couldn't stand,
Something rotten that hadn't been there before.
I tried clawing it out.
I tried to change myself to bring you back.
I wondered if you realized how much you'd damaged me.
Or if you cared.
I finally realized it wasn't my fault.
That my hands were stained from helping you up countless times,
Not from my own soul.
It was your choice to make me feel small.
But now I've washed my hands of you.
this is about someone i thought was my friend, who suddenly ignored me and made me feel horrible about myself. he caused me so many tears, and so much anxiety, because i didn't understand why he hated me when i hadn't even done anything. i was fragile and insecure and he took advantage of that, whether purposefully or not, i don't know. i've gotten over him mostly, but i still don't know what happened. it feels strange to think that this event was so monumental and traumatizing to me, while in his life, it may have constituted a tiny bump in the road. does he even remember me?
