why is it that headlights are so much more blinding when there's warm streams puddling at my chin because i'm physically furthering myself away from you? why is it that the farther i am from you, the more i feel like there's something heavy holding my heart tighter and tighter, pulling at me with everything it has to turn around and come back to you? i know i'll return to your side in just a few days, but i feel pages and pages torn from my memories wedging their way between my ribs making it difficult to breathe normally. as i blink away the tears that still are falling, i see that beautiful smiling face of yours looking down at me in your arms, telling me that you'll see me soon, even though we both know that "soon" isn't soon enough. i can see you desperately trying to fight back emotion after emotion as you release me from your warm embrace and i know that you'll always invite me back with open arms but that doesn't make it any easier to leave you here and now. every ounce of me longs to be with you each moment we have. i've seen too many times when two people are forever separated- and one of them is forced to attend a funeral that they didn't think was going to occur until their hair turned silver and their eyes grew dim. continuing to live a life absent of you would be the night sky without a moon, waves without noise, flowers without color, music without sound, kisses without feeling. i wish you understood how void my life would be without you-almost all would be vanity. now that i know how complete i am when you're here, i can't imagine what it'd be like to no longer have you near. i slam on the brakes as bright red lights seen almost too late and i tell myself to be more careful, stay focused, think straight.
that's one of the main reasons i keep pushing forward when i feel i have no energy left to spare-
*it's the thought of coming back home to you.