Teens of Telstra, teens of Telstra,
Staff of team Telstra, they are stars,
To me they all look like teens,
Cutest things you've ever seen,
Oh, teens of Telstra, teens of Telstra,
Now there's collective bulimia,
As greys with phones enter their shop,
Under the counters, the teens do hop,
Teens of Telstra groan and moan,
"Who gave grey old farts mobile phones?"