i will try to deprive myself of you, to distant myself from you

i will try not to look at you too much nor initiate a conversation  with you

i will try not to mind how you look nor to mind how you speak

i will try to resist breaking your wall; to resist trying to approach whenever i see you online or alone

i will try to look at what's bad about you - your inability to be true to yourself of what you really feel, to your coldness, your indifference, your offenses

i will try to ignore you each day in hopes that i will not hope for you

i will try to calm my heart whenever i see your messages on my phone or whenever you're near

i will try not to admire your music taste, your smarts

i will try not to think of you nor dream about you at night

i will try not to sneak a peek

i will try to protect my heart from you

i will try to hate you really hard

but please

don't go looking at me, too

with those gentle eyes of yours

it makes all of these futile if i catch you checking on me too

you're a tease boy, don't make this so ******* me