Sorry for existing
I want to say
but I know you won't understand
you'll try to fix me with your words
"don't say that, you are worth everything"
the only kind of worth I have stings when I try to wear it
I'm beaten and it's too painful to wear my scars today

Sorry for existing
I know I didn't do anything to hurt you
but I hurt myself enough to convince my worn down mind to let me
stay in under the covers today
"Just choose to be happy"
if I could choose to be happy don't you think I would have already tried that
my eyes are so tired I'm hallucinating
about a better time

Sorry for existing
your messages are pounding in my head like a migraine
"But you look fine"
Sometimes violent does not have a face,
only a stomach drop
an empty room
an emotionless drone
I can't cry out for fear my mind would hear
and lock me back in

Sorry for existing
Maybe I just won't for a while
"You don't mean that, pain is temporary"
No, I'll just rest and hope sleep is kinder.