It's 3am
And I want you to know
that I am thinking about your lips on mine
and the way that you show me how to trust again,
All in good time.
Thinking of how you leave a trail of fire on my skin
When you trace a line with a finger, or even breathe
On my neck; lights dimmed
Hearts shine.

From the outside looking in
This love is scandalous
It has been since the beginning.
Remember the time your girlfriend got me high?
I was expecting a girls night in
Maybe some dancing, maybe some wine
But no, she picks me up,
pill in hand, gives me a luscious kiss and says
"wait until you meet him"
(See she had been chasing me for quite some time
And I was of an age, thinking maybe I'll give this a try)

Now, I was no longer cognizant of tick-tock time
Perhaps an hour or more had gone by
She had me dressed as a fairy princess
She was dressed to the nines
Then you walked in.
I gave an audible sigh,
I couldn't believe my luck!
So handsome, piercing blue eyes..
How did I end up here?
To sleep with this girl, and this guy?
But this is not the moment to be asking 'why?'

Pretty soon we were all high... As a kite
She is a ******* and she likes to bite
(I had a mark on my *** a month after that night)
We all got naked to Howl at the full moon,
I didn't know what to expect
But I knew it would happen soon.
Making love in a euphoric glow
Feeling connected, in tune.
It was my first time so we went slow,
But in the end we just wanted to spoon.

We all lay there in a bubble of ecstasy
Counting my lucky stars to have these two next to me
And we knew it was fast, but the morning after
The spell was still cast; kitchen filled with laughter!
And perhaps I'm just daft or..
Naive, or too young..
But I accepted the invitation to move in.
And I sung praises in celebration
Of living among such loving openness
It was not an imitation
We were happy... For a while
Until she set this rule:
No *** without her.
Well, she had a different style
And we played her for a fool
Because we couldn't share
This deep, soulful jewel with her.

I still miss our nights spent naked in front of the fire,
But I had to set my sights on a new object of desire.
Should I leave now or later
To avoid any fights,
To avoid being a liar?

Alas, this threeway was not meant to last,
But I lost a third and I gained a half.
Because no matter where or who
We happened to be with from then on,
Our hearts are now glued together,
Like some myth from ancient times long gone.

More than two years has gone by since those days,
I've faced so many fears to find my way out of the maze
Of confusion, of woes that was my short marriage,
And you know how it goes "then came a baby in a baby carriage".
Yet still you were there while my belly grew,
I am so grateful to have spent some of that time with you.

My soul has been laid bare,
I've been made anew,
Acquired a new layer,
Like now I'm a new mom and I talk about poo!
I haven't a moment to spare
Between diapers, dishes, chores, bathing, cooking, studying.. laundry too:
Single mom style, a beauty so fair!
And yet you still look at me and tell me true,
That you love me even with sweat-plastered hair,
Dishevelled, and missing a shoe.

Well, that's how I feel most days
So just call me a hot mess,
But the heat from your gaze
Still makes me want to undress.