nightmares

i hear your car pull into the driveway

and I rush to close my eyes.

i pull the covers to my shoulders

and pretend that i am sleeping

this has become my ritual

i can hear your key turn in the lock and my heart presses against my ribcage.

i have been waiting for this

you quietly enter our bedroom

the smell of snow follows you in.

silence

(just for a moment.)

then

the rustle of layers being shed

i feel the bed shift as you climb in next to me

slowly

you reach for me

lightly touching my side

in this dark room

i am beaming

'hey'

it's all you say,

but in it i can hear the high note of every love song.

with a smile firmly in place

i slowly open my eyes

only to find myself alone

in a room miles away

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