My dear I’m afraid we will always be
Nothing more than chocolate and cheese.
Whilst you’re caviar, diamonds and fine Persian silks
I’m a 20p tabloid, sliced bread and skimmed milk.
Your standards: astronomical, but I’m easily pleased!
My pet, I’m afraid we’re just chocolate and cheese.

Yes - we’re simply chocolate and cheese.
Ask your sow of a mother, I’m sure she’ll agree.
She’ll tell you I’m feral and my manner’s uncouth
But doesn’t she know? She’s the living proof!
But you’re not much of a fighter, scared to disagree
Unlike me. We are merely chocolate and cheese.

Chocolate and cheese, we’re buds far apart
You love with your head, I think with my heart.
You keep your hands clean (whilst I get mine *****)
And agree to whatever whilst I’m getting shirty.  
If I’m daringly dairy, then you’re gluten free.
Too frightened to argue why we’re chocolate and cheese.

So, chocolate and cheese we will always be
From this moment on for eternity.
You’ve not made a case - is it because mine’s rested?
You’re too scared to fail whenever you’re tested.
You'll never be bold and explicit like me.
So forever you’re chocolate and forever I’m cheese.