Yesterday someone asked me if I really want to live.
I said yes but,
it's not that simple.
I want the beautiful things
and I see them.

But I feel a disproportionate amount of pain,
as trivial as it may be,
I feel it so intensely.
I've seen death.
I know it intimately.
Yet small things still get to me.

Did I forget the blessings?
The miracle of lungs filling with air
and a steady heart beat.
The joy of a vessel to hold me.
Yet all I can do is outrun the pain.
Are my blessings are given in vain.