Comparing yourself to others who, unlike you, succeeded in their goals is a feeling akin to the one you get when you watch a bright multicolored parade speed away its colors meshing together until it becomes a large, shiny mass of obnoxiousness the paraders clearly having fun, their screams of joy slowly being drowned out by the roaring in your ears the rise of water within yourself filling the tub of depression "I could have been in that parade", you whisper as you miserably watch them leave you behind *"I deserved to be in that parade-- but was i meant to be there?"
Wrote this while crying. Didn't end up getting into something I had prepared for months on. Sounded petty to my rationale, sounds petty now.