On the nights i can't sleep,
I lay awake thinking of you
and if you deserve better
and if I can really be better the way you think I can.

I'm damaged goods, no ones ever denied that, at least to my face.

I know I'll heal and grow and get little bits of better in time
but until then I wonder if the slow of my progress
strikes fear in parts of you you've long forgotten.

and I wonder if you understand
the thought of losing you
fighting with you
hurting you
strikes me breathless out of fear
and pain.
it's like the wind gets knocked out of me
at the idea that I could ever be a source of hurt for you.

and I'm not that smart
and I'm not that funny,
but **** it all if I don't try to learn
or if I don't try to make you laugh.

I get too excited
and I shout
or too angry
and my voice shakes or gets louder.

I'm an empath and I feel too much,
see too much, love too much.

I talk too much.

I laugh too much.

I cry way too much.

but at least I'm trying.

I lay awake at night sometimes,
wondering if I can get better the way you think I can.