Watching, waiting, anticipating.
These words are rhyming words
Indicative of both love and want and need
While also alluding to a form of stalking.
“Love makes us do crazy things” they say.
Well, crazy- crazy is nowhere near what I am.
I love and want and need with so much of my being
That I am no longer myself.
I am enslaved by this woman
With her hair curled loosely at its ends
With her eyes soft and blue and searching
With her hands small and expressive
With her lips shaped like rosebuds
And her spirit alight with passion.
This woman traps me in her gaze.
I am no longer myself.
I yearn to see her pass me by in the halls.
I long to run my fingers through her long, mousy brown hair.
I pine for her and all of her.
I am afraid of my captor.
Her quiet intensity makes me doubt each word I say,
Yet she encourages me to speak my mind.
I fear I will make a fool of myself,
Yet she laughs at my goofy humor.
I am afraid I am too extroverted for her liking,
Yet she smiles when she sees me.
It is my gaze, my eyes filled with laughter that make her smile.
I am afraid that this is all a hoax,
A dream, an inception, and that all of this
Is merely my imagination getting the better of me.
I try to look away
But every time her eyes meet mine
I cannot strip my gaze from hers.
I doubt she will ever feel the same
But she always ends her sentences while looking at me.
She always says words like
“Enflame”, “inspire”, “awaken”, “desire”
While looking at me.
Her soft blue orbs peer into mine for minutes
While others only get her attention in short, unimportant, instances.
This is all too much for me.
It’s far too delicate for me to bear,
Yet I know unreciprocated love and affection
Is the most inspiring.
I cannot tell if she is my love or my muse
But I love her
And I want her
And I need her
And I will never be the same.