I swear
my bones have frozen
without you,
40 degree summer could arrive now,
and I'd still be the
equivalent of a snowman;

A mortal needing
another fleeting mortal;
What a beautiful and dangerous
combination...

The less time I spend with you,
the less I'll need to heal,
but the less time I am with you,
the more frost I lick off of my fingers,
the more frostbite attacks my lips,
the more my core is numbed...

I need to feel you,
You know I've missed you,
I need to feel you because
dangerously, you're becoming
a part of me, a delicate one at that.

I always told my teacher
you needed to be
shoved off a cliff
and only then would you
learn how to swim,
and darling,
for you, I'd eat patience
for breakfast, lunch and dinner;
I'd eat patience until my scale broke...
and it has.

The scale of my heart
is on edge,
it is crackling,
it is ruining,
it is bleeding to death.

I'm scared to insist
and I'm scared to admit
that I am tired of giving you
swimming lessons...
But then again,
if I don't teach you how
to float, one of us will sink...

I understand my patience
cannot be immortal,
but surely, your shyness
won't be either,
surely nothing is immortal,
surely we still have a chance...

It is my understanding that
by teaching you how to swim,
by being your anchor,
I will sink...you don't care if I do.
Fine.
Sink with me.

And maybe then I will learn
to not miss you so much,
so much that I can barely
pick up a pen to shoot bullets
of which damage you will never feel
because I will love you too much
to let them pierce and **** you;
but I am not made of steel.