Sitting here
And pondering
Wondering
Why?

Merrily
Or cheerily
Yet I still want to die

My face is smiles
Happy
And misleading

My heart is fractured
Lacerated
And bleeding

My mind is buzzing
And words are whirling
Swirling
Twirling my thoughts
To delusions of grandeur

I sit
Detached
Maybe confused
Not sure what to do

Does anyone else feel this way?
Do you ever just
Wish it would end?

Do you ever look at your life
And think.
What have i done?

For me
At least
I have these
To ease
Those thoughts of nothingness

Though i am not famous
Or rich
Or even that well known

My words are profound
My thoughts are now focused
My poetry
And notoriety
Rising

My heart
My soul
My drive
My will
This day
I feel
And deal
This wheel
Of life
Or strife
A mighty blow
Although
My heart

Is screaming.